• Rachelle Escamilla

Beginning Again Maybe Mid 2022

I haven't quite been able to find my footing, and I don't even know where to start. It seems inappropriate to say "I lost all of these opportunities in the Pandemic," when people lost their lives, their loved ones, their homes, their ability to earn a wage and their health. I lost tour dates and an opportunity to be on stage with some of the biggest names in the history of music and poetic composition (in true Chicana fashion: "it is what it is").

I think what we are supposed to do is be excited about the things that we did gain, if there was anything to gain. I will say that the world shut down just in time for me to shut myself in, my daughter and I began the 24/7 time together much like other privileged families: baking, watching tv, and because we live in Monterey, going to the beach while people were holed up in rooms and houses in situations maybe they didn't wanna be in. I mean, I lost 85% of my contracts and many, many, MANY opportunities, and I suffered mentally, but I didn't suffer/suffer. I was worried and lonely and afraid, and I didn't like that everyone around me was an essential worker, while I was protected at home with my child. Remembering that time is hazy. How did I feel?

Me & Chicana Poet Naomi Quiñonez at Santa Clara University for Cinco de Mayo 2022

It seems that everyone around me is now running forward into the future, and I don't know where I'm going yet. My third book is scheduled to release in 2023, a tentative acceptance at Nomadic Press, and I'm very excited about it -- "Space Junk from the Heavenly Palace" might be my favorite collection to date. I feel like I've solidified the textual/sonic/spatial/lyric/linear elements that I love most and I feel like it's A KIND OF COMPLETE. But overall, I still don't feel like I'm running. I feel like I'm slowly wading through water, I don't quite have the energy to let the traumas of the pandemic go and I don't think I want to ever move at the pace I did before.

Anyway, I guess this is the beginning of my blog. I used to write a regular blog, and my friend and amazing writer R/B Mertz ("Burning Butch," Unnamed Press 2022) has told me that I need to write a memoir. Other people keep telling me that I can produce more. So here I am attempting something.

Also, I just completed an amazing reading at Santa Clara University with Marcello Castillo Hernandez, Juan Velasco, Naomi Quiñonez , and Matt Sedillo. I feel very privileged to be among such talented poets.

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